Kyoung Update: Santiago, Chile

by kyoung on July 28, 2005

Hey everyone,

I’m leaving to Korea in a month (hooray!) and I’ve touched base with some of my fellow peers (which are not that many.) It turns out the Grad School I’m attending (gip.khu.ac.kr) only accepted 4 Korean students, and 3 Foreign students for the fall semester. We’ll be joining the existing student body of 40–you read that right–and hopefully try to make things different in the world, starting with ourselves. From Monday to Friday, we’ll wake up at 5:45 in the morning and meditate for a couple of hours, go to lectures throughout the afternoon and then participate in student activities.

As the news that I’m going to Korea started to spread, long-lost cousins that I’ve met once or twice are popping-up, most of them, cousin’s from my mother’s side of the family. (Apparently, my smarts comes from her side of the gene pool…) One of them is quite famous these days and is working for what many people consider, the next President of Korea. But who knows? People tell us to be quiet about that.

In the meanwhile, I’ve been working with my dad in, what seems to be, the legal battle from hell. My life is looking a lot like “Arrested Development” meets “The Practice”, without a final resolution in 30 or 60 minutes. All I have in exchange is a bunch of corrupt lawyers and judges!

I wish I had walked around with my camera to show you the inside of the Chilean criminal courts, the Court of Appeals, and the Supreme Court. Walked in through all of them, trying to make sure my dad doesn’t get screwed, while the country is running amock with corruption accusations involving the current President and some of his in-laws that have received major concessions and contracts for nationalized industries (read: the copper industry, which is reaching an all-time high.) Of course, this is an election year, and the opposition is trying to make the existing party look like they’re all corrupt and dangerous to our society.

In addition to the administrative blunders of the current government, there’s a scandalous trial against a judge who apparently closed over 300 cases in 48 hours, winning massive bonuses (for expediency) that are being questioned. This poor judge’s life has been turned around and publically exposed, even accusing her of “favoring” cases in exchange of free cosmetic surgery.

In the personal area, everything has been relaxed. I miss doing theater and when I sit down to write, all I can muster up are some poems (I include one for your enjoyment.) Once in a while, I get sad remembering New York, and feel awkward that I am back home only for a while… I wish I could settle roots, or at least, settle down, but for some reason, it isn’t my time. Plus, as I discover everything seems to bug me, I’m feeling like I need to get myself straight–or rather, straight things out.

Anyway, life is looking up. As much I have to learned to let things go, I have learned to fight to not give up what means to me the most.

Keep in touch!

Peace and love,

Kyoung
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A LITTLE

i’m feeling a little lost.
a little bit torn.
i only say it’s a little
‘cuz for some reason,
people in chile only think little
of things.

they ask if they can have a little bit
of money
of food
of time.
they ask if you have a little
to spare
or to give.

when it comes to the way they feel,
it’s always a little bit
confusing
daunting
bewildering.

so today, i’m feeling a little bit lost;
a little less the person i used to be
a little bit less sure of what i am

so i try to think less of what i held
i try to think less of what i knew
and think a little bit more of what i had
a little bit more of what I
desired
aspired
and set myself to be.

and when the little things stop to add up
that’s when i realize how much of
everything wasn’t there
how a lot of it was just me
trying to patch things up
to make it better than what it was.

a little less painful than what it was
a little less real
a lot more like what i wanted things to be
and less of what they really were.

i question how much was good
and how much was even better
just because i made it so.

and i feel selfish that maybe
it wasn’t good enough for me;
or feel insecure
that it was a little too much for me
and feel torn.
because these days, a little
comes through like
a lot.

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